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Post by Will on Feb 17, 2006 19:36:06 GMT -5
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Post by Will on Feb 17, 2006 19:50:55 GMT -5
Once upon a time there was a carpenter who really likes to make things out of wood. He was real lonely and had no wife or kids, probably due to the fact that he was a horrible lover and not very attractive at all. One day he got the idea to make a child out of wood so that he could be real creepy and pretend it was his son. He thought he would make a puppet. A puppet boy made out of wood. That is what he thought he would make. Isn’t that outrageous?
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Mark
Mark
Please don't puke.
Posts: 199
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Post by Mark on Feb 17, 2006 19:55:26 GMT -5
Characters: 359
No forbidden letters (of course)
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Post by Sam on Feb 17, 2006 19:59:08 GMT -5
0 strikes.
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Post by Will on Feb 17, 2006 20:08:33 GMT -5
The carpenter started to make this puppet boy out of the finest timber he could find. He had a real passion for making things out of wood and this was to be his greatest creation. He spent many tireless hours creating this puppet boy until he finally had it completed. It was beautiful. It really was. You should see it! He thought long and hard about what to name the puppet boy. Can you guess what he named him?
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Mark
Mark
Please don't puke.
Posts: 199
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Post by Mark on Feb 17, 2006 20:13:18 GMT -5
Characters: 335
Forbidden Letters: None
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Post by Sam on Feb 17, 2006 20:15:02 GMT -5
0 strikes.
CAN'T USE: q
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Post by Will on Feb 17, 2006 20:20:19 GMT -5
He named him Pinocchio! Can you believe that? I thought that to be a very lame name. Personally, I would have chosen the names Steve, Tom, or Ralph.
The carpenter started to daydream about the puppet boy and wished that he was alive. He started to go into a lengthy musical number about wishing that the puppet boy was a real boy. It was really spectacular to watch! I loved it.
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Mark
Mark
Please don't puke.
Posts: 199
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Post by Mark on Feb 17, 2006 20:24:15 GMT -5
Characters: 308
Forbidden Letters: None
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Post by Sam on Feb 17, 2006 20:25:39 GMT -5
0 strikes.
I didn't find any K's.
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Post by Will on Feb 17, 2006 20:34:26 GMT -5
There was a very pretty fairy who heard the carpenter’s wishes and she decided to help him out a little bit by the puppet boy into a real boy while the carpenter was out. She made sure to include the all important “conscience” in the form of a little insect, named Jiminy. He was a really sweet insect and had a lot of wisdom in his tiny head of his. He was also really super at soccer.
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Mark
Mark
Please don't puke.
Posts: 199
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Post by Mark on Feb 17, 2006 20:41:27 GMT -5
Characters: 310
Forbidden Letters: None.
Grammar Errors: Repetitive words: "his tiny head of his" and incorrect verb usage "decided to help him out a little bit by the puppet boy into a real boy"
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Post by Sam on Feb 17, 2006 20:43:31 GMT -5
0 strikes
that brings him down to 305 and he missed the word "turning" which doesn't hit any forbidden letters
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Post by Will on Feb 17, 2006 20:46:13 GMT -5
The carpenter came home from his trip and saw that the puppet was now alive! This was a definite sight to see. He couldn’t believe his eyes. The puppet started to dance and the carpenter become really excited so he danced with the puppet. The dance was real special. The insect joined in the dance and soon it was one wonderful dance of man, insect, and puppet. It was a little odd to watch.
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Mark
Mark
Please don't puke.
Posts: 199
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Post by Mark on Feb 17, 2006 20:50:03 GMT -5
Characters: 318
Forbidden Letters: 3, "siGht" "eYes" "reallY"
Grammar Errors: 1, "the carpenter become really excited"
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Post by Sam on Feb 17, 2006 20:52:24 GMT -5
4 strikes
way too many uses of dance... minus 10 characters. Repetitive first sentences... 3 times saying the same thing. minus 24 characters.
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Post by Will on Feb 17, 2006 20:59:58 GMT -5
The puppet now had to be honest all the time or his nose would become rather enormous. This was hard to do because it is impossible for people to not tell a lie at some point in their life. One time when the puppet was to attend school, he instead decided to see a marionette show created from a man named Stromboli. The marionette show was the finest in all the land. The puppet was interested in it because he was a puppet himself.
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Mark
Mark
Please don't puke.
Posts: 199
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Post by Mark on Feb 17, 2006 21:04:00 GMT -5
Characters: 350
Forbidden Letters: None.
Grammar Errors: Change of verb tenses "This was hard to do because it is impossible", wrong verb usage "One time when the puppet was to attend school"
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Post by Sam on Feb 17, 2006 21:05:01 GMT -5
4 strikes total
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Post by Will on Feb 17, 2006 21:12:45 GMT -5
The puppet continues to tell lie after lie to his father the carpenter. The sad fact is that he can not hide his lies since each time he tells one his nose is reformed into a more enormous nose as times passes.
One time when the puppet came home from school he noticed that his father was nowhere around the house. He started to panic and searched all around the house until he realized that his father had decided to catch some fish.
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Post by Sam on Feb 17, 2006 21:16:20 GMT -5
4 strikes total.
352
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Mark
Mark
Please don't puke.
Posts: 199
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Post by Mark on Feb 17, 2006 21:17:14 GMT -5
Characters: 352
Forbidden Letters: None
Grammar Errors: Transition from present tense to past tense. Lack of commas, thus run-on sentences.
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Post by Will on Feb 17, 2006 21:23:12 GMT -5
The marionette ran as fast as the speed of sound down to where his father would have fished. He scanned the area and did not find himl. He became more and more worried. Soon he started to swim into the ocean. It was awesome that he knew how to swim. Off in the distance he spotted a fish, he had no idea what this whale beast was. He was a marionette in the end. The brine based water threatened to drown the poor marionette and hope was scarce
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Post by Sam on Feb 17, 2006 21:37:17 GMT -5
357 c
knew, became brine, based
SIX STRIKES - out
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