Post by Kevin W. on Mar 2, 2006 16:04:53 GMT -5
Well, I should do them now while I'm emotionally upset and the sting is still fresh in my mind. What is there to say? I've been here so long and up until a few days ago I really thought I had a great shot of taking the title home, I really did. I'm not cocky, I just knew the direction I wanted to go and that's what I did. I can't help who I am, I can't help I am charming and I can't help I like to talk to everyone, that's just me and you can take it or leave it.
I'm actually really upset right now. Like, honestly and truly hurt. Yes, I backstabbed people and I lied to them but this tribal council hurts me in a totally different way. If Will and Matt wanted me to go so bad, then I wish they would have voted for me too. By voting for Jen and Stacy, they basically said they don't care if I go and care more about their personal games. Well, you know what? Fuck them. I am the reason BOTH of them are still around. I could have gotten rid of either of them whenever I wanted and I'm not afraid to say it. It makes me so mad that both of them would just throw their vote away. I don't even know what to say.
Yes, I asked people to do random votes but out of sheer desperation, I didn't expect them to and if they did I would look down on them just as much as I have upon Will and Matt. It seems my so called fabrication of them being together has come true. To me, this whole game Will was my top priority and to see him not even vote with me on my way out just hurts, really really bad. We've been in this game for over two months and he can't even give me the decency of letting me know or atleast backstabbing me the right way.
It's so dissapointing going out this way, and at this time. Stacy and Lexie were already voted out, but they beat me. Are they still deserving? In a way, but a lot of people left aren't deserving in my eyes...but deserving does not give you immunity so what is there to do? I wish I could have lasted longer and shoved it to everyone. I was doing fine the first half of the game but when we merged everyone started talking about Paradise again, my worst nightmare. You can't escape your past I suppose.
Do I blame anyone in particular for my boot? No, I don't. Ryan wanted to merge to save his own skin, which I don't blame him for, the Xavantes stuck together which I would have done, and Lexie voted along with them because we voted her out. Just a horrible streak of bad luck for me. I was hoping that there was a light at the end of the tunnel for me but it looks like my train just crashed. It just eats me up inside that they got me, all of them because of my past. I hope somebody has the guts to take Matt and Tyler out because it has to happen eventually, and if it doesn't they will be the final two.
On the overall experience, it was so much fun until the latter days where it just became extremely stressful. In the end though, it was one of the most intense games I have ever played and although I didn't win, a lot of good came out of it. I got a better feel for who I am, I made an awesome friend in someone I didn't expect, Ryan and I met one of the most wonderful girls- Lynne. I wish I had ditched Will years before for her, because she's the only one I ever cared about and I'm glad she didn't end up going this time.
As for everyone remaining, I have pretty positive feelings about all of them. To Lynne and Ryan- keep the Bajau spirit alive and don't give up. You might find unlikely allies in eachother. To Katie, Mark, and Tori- don't let yourselves fall victim to the same alliance your friends did before. I actually like you guys, so do something, take some action! If someone from Xavante is going to win I hope it is one of you. To Matt and Tyler- the other masterminds, haha. I respect you guys alot for your gameplay but I would be lying if I said I hope you didn't go soon! Stacy, Jen, and Lexie- It was expected. I wish you guys could have helped me out but obviously you see me as more evil than the other eleven people you are playing against. I hate to say it, but I hope to see you guys here soon too. Too indecisive. And finally, Matt and Will...the people who I thought were my friends. I don't respect the move you made at all and I forgive you but probably won't look at you ever again and admire how great you are. You guys might not lose right now, but you'll feel the effects of your shady ways eventually.
I can't forget Sam! My best buddy and favorite host ever. This game was mindblowing, I can't even believe the concept. I was so hesitant to come back in fear of people hating me and thinking I was some horrible person, and although I did get some of that I think it was totally worth it. Your challenges are amazing and the game is one of the most well organized out there. I hope you don't grow white hair by the end of this though, it is stressful!
Well, this closes my Asteria storybook. I came, I saw, I didn't conquer but made it two thirds of the way through. I never gave up and I don't regret one thing I did, not at all. I must end with a quote, and you all know what it is: Everything happens for a reason.
=)
I'm actually really upset right now. Like, honestly and truly hurt. Yes, I backstabbed people and I lied to them but this tribal council hurts me in a totally different way. If Will and Matt wanted me to go so bad, then I wish they would have voted for me too. By voting for Jen and Stacy, they basically said they don't care if I go and care more about their personal games. Well, you know what? Fuck them. I am the reason BOTH of them are still around. I could have gotten rid of either of them whenever I wanted and I'm not afraid to say it. It makes me so mad that both of them would just throw their vote away. I don't even know what to say.
Yes, I asked people to do random votes but out of sheer desperation, I didn't expect them to and if they did I would look down on them just as much as I have upon Will and Matt. It seems my so called fabrication of them being together has come true. To me, this whole game Will was my top priority and to see him not even vote with me on my way out just hurts, really really bad. We've been in this game for over two months and he can't even give me the decency of letting me know or atleast backstabbing me the right way.
It's so dissapointing going out this way, and at this time. Stacy and Lexie were already voted out, but they beat me. Are they still deserving? In a way, but a lot of people left aren't deserving in my eyes...but deserving does not give you immunity so what is there to do? I wish I could have lasted longer and shoved it to everyone. I was doing fine the first half of the game but when we merged everyone started talking about Paradise again, my worst nightmare. You can't escape your past I suppose.
Do I blame anyone in particular for my boot? No, I don't. Ryan wanted to merge to save his own skin, which I don't blame him for, the Xavantes stuck together which I would have done, and Lexie voted along with them because we voted her out. Just a horrible streak of bad luck for me. I was hoping that there was a light at the end of the tunnel for me but it looks like my train just crashed. It just eats me up inside that they got me, all of them because of my past. I hope somebody has the guts to take Matt and Tyler out because it has to happen eventually, and if it doesn't they will be the final two.
On the overall experience, it was so much fun until the latter days where it just became extremely stressful. In the end though, it was one of the most intense games I have ever played and although I didn't win, a lot of good came out of it. I got a better feel for who I am, I made an awesome friend in someone I didn't expect, Ryan and I met one of the most wonderful girls- Lynne. I wish I had ditched Will years before for her, because she's the only one I ever cared about and I'm glad she didn't end up going this time.
As for everyone remaining, I have pretty positive feelings about all of them. To Lynne and Ryan- keep the Bajau spirit alive and don't give up. You might find unlikely allies in eachother. To Katie, Mark, and Tori- don't let yourselves fall victim to the same alliance your friends did before. I actually like you guys, so do something, take some action! If someone from Xavante is going to win I hope it is one of you. To Matt and Tyler- the other masterminds, haha. I respect you guys alot for your gameplay but I would be lying if I said I hope you didn't go soon! Stacy, Jen, and Lexie- It was expected. I wish you guys could have helped me out but obviously you see me as more evil than the other eleven people you are playing against. I hate to say it, but I hope to see you guys here soon too. Too indecisive. And finally, Matt and Will...the people who I thought were my friends. I don't respect the move you made at all and I forgive you but probably won't look at you ever again and admire how great you are. You guys might not lose right now, but you'll feel the effects of your shady ways eventually.
I can't forget Sam! My best buddy and favorite host ever. This game was mindblowing, I can't even believe the concept. I was so hesitant to come back in fear of people hating me and thinking I was some horrible person, and although I did get some of that I think it was totally worth it. Your challenges are amazing and the game is one of the most well organized out there. I hope you don't grow white hair by the end of this though, it is stressful!
Well, this closes my Asteria storybook. I came, I saw, I didn't conquer but made it two thirds of the way through. I never gave up and I don't regret one thing I did, not at all. I must end with a quote, and you all know what it is: Everything happens for a reason.
=)